My Belief

I used to hate waking up for Church. For as long as I can remember, it’s taken me considerable effort to wake up at 9AM on any given day. When my mom opened my door on Sunday mornings, I used to beg her to catch the afternoon service instead. She always said no. Once I woke myself up, we were well on our way to St. Theresa’s. 

Back then, I was sure I was a “good” Catholic because I showed up to Church, albeit reluctantly. I was sure I was a “good” Catholic because I knew all the responses and prayers, because I prayed to God every night, because I believed that he existed. I thought that was all there was to it. Little did I know, I couldn’t have been further from the truth. In reality, I was a good Catholic when I watched my nephew on the weekends and made memories we’ll never forget. I was a good Catholic when I supported my friends when they struggled with family issues. I was a good Catholic because of my steadfastness in my love and loyalty to others. 

I completed this realization at 10-years-old, on a random Mass out of the hundreds I’ve attended. I was standing before communion, listening to the choir sing. I tried to stay awake by flipping through the psalm book to follow along, but I stopped when I heard my mom crying. I turned and asked her what was wrong. She responded through tears, “This was your Grandma Lily’s favorite song. She used to sing it so beautifully.” At that moment, I found my faith. I didn’t have a textbook divine-intervention moment like I thought I would, where I found God in a voice, a Bible verse, a prayer, or worship music. Instead, I found God in my mom’s display of love. I realized that is all God is - her connection with her mother, and my connection with her. God is what we share, and that is the highest praise I can give. 

My Grandma Lily was a highly educated woman. She owned a pharmacy in the Philippines, named after my mother, and worked as a pharmacist. She learned how to sing professional opera, and sang psalms with a beauty that I can only imagine was captivating. However, to her, her most important quality was her faith. She was devout Catholic throughout her entire life. She prayed the rosary everyday. She raised my mom and her six siblings to be Catholic, attending Church every Sunday. Remembering this was the key to realizing why my mom did the same with me. If not being faithful for herself, she was being faithful for her mother. It was her love for her mother that drove her desire for me to find faith, knowing that my Grandmother would be ecstatic to hear of it, knowing that she wasn’t around to see my first communion. 

I know now that being faithful isn’t about following rules so you can meet the credentials to get into Heaven. Being faithful is actually far more simple than that. It is doing what my mother does - maintaining love. Since realizing this, my faith has manifested itself in the steadfast belief in love. I understand that preaching love is not a groundbreaking stance to take, but there is a reason why all the most content and peaceful people in the world hold a belief in love to some degree. I've been one of the luckiest people alive to grow up knowing what great love feels like. Having a family that never shied away from openly expressing their love, I've been surrounded by this incredible connection since the day I was born. Because of the love I share with my family, I've been able to live my life knowing whether or not to be sure of my connections with others. It's why I can confidently say that the friends I keep closest to me love me wonderfully, and I do the same for them. Love is the central force in my life that drives me to do all that I do. In fact, it's the glue that makes my life a life at all. 

I believe wholeheartedly in maintaining love by living in community with others and nurturing meaningful relationships. Love is not only a feeling, but an active commitment to community that leads you to a fulfilling life. Community allows us to share our lives with others, learn from diverse perspectives, and experience the richness of belonging. Engaging with those you love, those you don’t know, and maybe even those you don’t like on a deeper level, can enrich our lives. Knowing the stories and beauty of others allows us to discover a sense of purpose and fulfillment. In fully knowing and appreciating the people around you, you find yourself. 

I can best describe the love I experience as a tree at the center of my soul, already grown, as if its seed was planted long before me, waiting for this life. As trees are forever connected through the networks of their roots, I am forever connected to my family through the network of our love. The world I come from is this ecosystem. Being nurtured in immovable harmony, I have learned exactly what a community should be, and know what I must contribute for a community to thrive. 

My parents grew up with an expansive worldview. Both had parents who immigrated to the United States, spent time in their parents’ home countries, and lived in several places across America. Out of love for their children, they held a desire to share with them their global worldview. At the age of six, my parents made a decision that would expand my world further. I was given the opportunity to live in England. After four years, I adopted the country’s culture, returning to the United States carrying its history, education, and values. Unlike most of my American peers, I have lived two lives; that of a British student and that of an American one. I carry this dual experience with me still, gaining a better understanding of my home country in the wider context of the world. Growing up in a diverse family, I have the desire to share my worldview with others that my parents gifted to me. 

I know how it feels to be so deeply connected to others that you feel your souls are rooted together. I know what it means for an ecosystem of people to live in harmony. The globalized worldview my parents instilled in me has pushed me to foster this harmony by expanding my community in the future.